Getting value out of being coached

A coaching session is not a status update and it is not a technical review. The person opposite you does not need to understand your architecture; they need to understand what you are trying to change and what is in the way. Preparation is mostly about arriving with that separation already made.

Before the session

Write one sentence naming what you want to be different by the next session. Not a project outcome, something about how you are working.
Write two or three sentences of the situation as it actually is, including the part you would rather not say out loud.
List what you have already tried, and be honest about which of those you tried once and abandoned.
Decide how much of the hour you want to spend on the goal and how much on the obstacles, and say so at the start.

During the session

Expect to be asked questions rather than given answers, and expect some of them to be uncomfortable. If a question lands badly, say so; that reaction is usually the most useful thing in the hour. Resist the pull to spend twenty minutes explaining background - if the background genuinely matters, the question will come back to it.

After the session

Write down the one action you committed to and the signal that would tell you it worked, in the same place you keep the rest of your work. A commitment that lives only in a coaching conversation reliably evaporates within a fortnight.

What to do if it is not working

If three sessions have passed and nothing has changed, that is information, not failure. Bring it as the topic of the fourth session. Coaching that cannot examine itself is not much use.