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The GROW model, stage by stage

/guides/coaches · 18 March 2019

GROW is a widely used coaching structure that moves a conversation through four stages in order. Its value is not novelty; it is that it gives both people a shared map, so that a session which has stalled can be located rather than merely felt.

The four GROW stages and what each one is for
StageThe question it asksHow it typically fails
GoalWhat do you want to be different by the next session?The goal is really a project milestone, so the session becomes a status report.
RealityWhat is actually happening, and what have you already tried?The account stays abstract; nothing concrete is ever described.
OptionsWhat could you do, including the options you have discounted?Two options are generated and one is chosen out of politeness.
Way forwardWhat will you do first, and what would tell you it worked?An intention is agreed with no first step and no signal.

Working the stages in order

The order matters more than the labels. Options generated before reality has been described honestly tend to be options for a problem that is not the one in the room. If the conversation jumps ahead, it is usually a sign that reality is uncomfortable, and going back is the useful move.

When to leave the model

Occasionally a lead arrives with something that needs to be said before anything can be structured. Let that happen. The model is there to stop a session wandering, not to override the person in front of you; return to it once the air has cleared.